We destroyed my virginity at sixteen.

Up to that true point, we told myself and whoever asked that i might hold back until wedding to possess intercourse. However when we dated an adult man in twelfth grade, he constantly chatted concerning the girl he could never ever quite overcome. The main one he destroyed their virginity to. Usually the one with whom he constantly had angry, passionate intercourse.

I desired to erase her memory from their brain. I needed to function as just one he seriously considered. Thus I had intercourse with him. Even with months of telling him i did son’t wish to because we wasn’t prepared.

But, despite the things I thought, that didn’t make things with him much better. Also directly after we began making love, he still hardly talked for me and would withdraw from me personally constantly. Usually it could even be immediately after we’d intercourse.

I was thinking we recently had a need to have significantly more intercourse with him. But investing any moment I had with him making love didn’t bring us any closer, either. In which he rejected me immediately after.

This relationship began a delicate, downward period by which we utilized intercourse in order to cope with any emotions of sadness or inadequacy.

We told myself tales to persuade myself that this behavior had been certainly not exactly what it was: an unhealthy way of coping. Continue reading How come I Wind Up Feeling Utilized After Having a Hookup? →